Bosna, ljubavi moja

Yikes- I'm getting behind on my weekly blogs! I apologize for the delay and will try to describe everything as efficiently and beautifully as possible.

So... where were we? Ah yes, week two of Serbia. This week was a lot better than the first week, I must admit. I started to get a feel for the city, which for a non-city girl like me normally takes weeks to do. I stopped getting lost, the weather got better, and I started finding some Belgrade friends. What helped the most, however, was finally mastering Cyrillic. I love going up to signs and testing myself to see if I can accurately transcribe what is written into latin letters. If you find me in the middle of Trg Republike with my eyes upward and my notebook out writing slowly, that's me trying to figure out a sign on a building. I've also come to peace with the fact that every bus, no matter what time of day, will be PACKED and the driver will drive like a madman. Belgraders on bus number 26 are starting to get used to me carrying around my massive, pink northface backpack which goes wonderfully with my similarly pink northface jacket. Needless to say, my clothing style screams "AMERICAN". I can't help it... I really like Gap and Banana Republic. :-)

My language professor is... well... unique. His name is Nebojsa and he really loves to go on tangents, and trust me, they're not relevant to language study. At first I found it hilarious- he tried to teach us that in order to break into a ferrari in Montenegro (because according to him, that's where the black market is most prevalent), all you need to do is light a few matches and put it under the car. Supposedly, this will activate the automatic unlock system that is in ferraris that is used when a fire is suspected, and voila! I will say, though, that by week two, the tangents were getting to be too much. It's interesting when you spend 10 minutes begging your professor not to call himself a Serb Nationalist because you're concerned about what he's trying to tell you about his political beliefs. Also, bringing up Srebrenica in Belgrade is hard enough as it is, but when your professor brings it up in the context of most of it being a mass exaggeration, it takes a lot of willpower to not get up and smack him. I spent most of that class with my head down, fists clenched, and tears quietly escaping from the corners of my eyes. As you can probably tell, Srebrenica is a soft spot for me because it's symbolic in so many different ways. I'll get to that later.

This second week in Belgrade was spent meeting NGO's, learning about Serbia's rebuilding process after Milosevic, and having amazing lunches with friends. I bought a few things, including a new silk dress, a pair of bright red flats, and a new duffel bag. My Friday night was by far one of the best nights on this trip because it involved going to a very traditional Serbian kafana and then to a bar to listen to a live Serbian band that played both Serbian and American music. Jackpot :-)

This past week has been dedicated to studying and experiencing Bosnia and Hercegovina post-Dayton, which as I have discovered, is becoming less and less pretty. Bosnia is what I would call my "baby"- it's the first place I studied post-conflict transformation in the field, it's the place where I met some of the most inspiring and amazing people on this planet (Love you Vahidin!), and it's the first country to which I felt a natural and significant connection (Je regrette, la France). Its beautiful landscape, hospitable and kind people, and spiritual atmosphere can take a person's breath away. Sadly, this is the reason why it was so difficult for me to realize that BiH (short for Bosnia and Hercegovina) is backtracking, and fast. The political system in BiH is still incredibly strained, and when you look at the formation of it on a sheet of paper, it really isn't hard to see why. BiH is still operating under the political system created by the Dayton Peace Agreement from December of 1995. This peace agreement is, in my opinion, the root of BiH's current problems because of its interpretation by the local people and its incorrect use by the international community. Dayton was a TEMPORARY means to stop overt violence and send the country into a state of negative peace. The fact that Dayton is still being used as not only a means of surviving but also as Bosnia's Constitution (Please tell me who thought it would be a good idea to put an entire country's Constitution in an annex of a peace agreement?!) is ridiculous. Fifteen years later, one starts to wonder- what the hell is going on here?

Enough about politics. I could spend hours talking to anyone about Bosnian politics and leave the conversation having gotten nowhere. Let's instead remark on how amazing Bosnia is culturally- it's hearty, rich, and unique history and cultural influences are what draw me so strongly to this beautiful country. We started our journey first in my favorite town in Bosnia, Sanski Most. This town has a very big personal influence on me because through learning about peacebuilding and reconciliation here last summer, I actually made huge personal leaps in figuring out who I really am and where I fit in in this cruel, crazy, and upside down world. Although we only spent a night there, I'm not worried- Sanski Most will be the location of my Independent Study Project, where I will spend a month in the town conducting research. I have finally picked my broad topic, peacebuilding and reconciliation in Sanski Most, but I now must decide on how I will enter the topic. I could either start from the outside (meaning the town) looking in on the Center for Peacebuilding (the NGO that is most well known in the town for peacebuilding and reconciliation efforts, and also where I will be volunteering for a month) or start from the inside (Center for Peacebuilding) looking out on the town itself. I will probably decide this upon my return to Belgrade in three days. Needless to say, however, I am giddy with excitement about the fact that I will be surrounded by my strong, loving, and inspiring friends in Sanski Most for a whole month :-).

Next, the group traveled to Banja Luka, the unofficial capital of Republika Srpska. We stayed for two nights and met with members of the RS (short for Republika Srpska) Presidency. This meeting was easily one of the most stressful meetings I have ever been a part of. We asked questions that we thought should have been answered, and not only did they not answer some of them directly (which I knew would happen), but they did not answer a couple of the questions AT ALL. Outright refusal. One of those questions was mine- I asked them to remark on their views on Radovan Karadzic. I wanted to know if they thought he was guilty of the charges he has been indicted for in the Hague. Before answering me, all three men laughed. I understand that this is sometimes a nervous habit of people and is not directly connected to their sentiments at the current time, but man did I get angry. As they explained that they would never answer a question like that, I heard a snap and saw a small amount of blood on the side of my finger- I had snapped my mechanical pencil in half on the table. I immediately drew my hand back in embarrassment and found a tissue for my finger, but the damage had been done- they knew exactly how I felt about them, not to mention Karadzic. We were quickly told that our time was up and it was time to go and before I could even think about another thing to say, we were outside holding goodie bags filled with RS pencils and an RS notebook. I learned a very important lesson that morning- a good poker face is one of the most integral tools for a peacebuilder. As Vahidin always says, "I just smile because I'm a peacebuilder." So true.

Now I am in Sarajevo, and have been for the past few days. This is my second favorite city in the world (second only to Washington DC, and only because DC will probably be where I will live for a very big portion of my life) and I remember now why: the smell of cevapi wafting into my window every morning, the sound of the calls to prayer radiating around the town, mosque by mosque, and the beautiful streets and shops in old town Sarajevo cannot be duplicated anywhere in the world. I wander the streets of this beautiful city just merely taking in the centuries of history, the Turkish influence (it's official- I want to go to Istanbul so badly now), and the AMAZING BOSANSKA KAVA. I finally know how to make it so I'm going to every morning while I'm at home this summer. Get ready mom... it's going to be great.

Tomorrow, we leave for Srebrenica, but I will leave that topic for a blog all on its own. I hope you were not bored with my rambling but I wanted to make sure I got everything down in a blog as soon as I could. I miss you all and hope you're doing well on whatever corner of the earth you are blessing with your presence. Peace and love.